going home

I'm going home this weekend and Jon is coming with me, I'm excited but a little nervous, I'm glad he's spending the summer with me, I'm not sure we would be able to stay together if we don't, but he's been really lovey lately which has been great.... but it makes me feel kind of weird at the same time. I don't want to be with anyone else, I guess i'm just being a spaz.... I also feel guilty because Jess and Cassie are going through a really hard time with their boys and things are really great with jon... idk...
I've been having a reoccuring nightmare where I am at Ashley's house at home, and Emily is there and everyone is mad at me, but i don't know what i've done wrong so i spend like the whole dream being really anxious and worried, and i try to talk to people about it, and they ignore me.... It's a very odd feeling..
alright- time to shower and pack...